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Separate? Yes - Equal? No.

A recent posting in another social media site got the response that both genders "face problems of equal severity."  I believe this to be a case of false equivalence and offer the following "think piece" in evidence.  While any single story cannot be authoritative, I believe the examples I give will be enough to prove my point.

Somewhere around two years ago I, in the classic words of Gary Larson, "went to the vet to get tutored."  Paid some co pays, had the most uncomfortable 20 minutes of my life, took a couple of tests and I was the proud owner of some non-reproductive equipment.

More important than what did happen, I feel, is what didn't:

- Neither my insurance company nor my employers batted an eyelash over me possibly cheating God out of babies even though I might still have sex.

- The place I went to was a medical office, with real doctors.  I didn't have to worry about being sent to a "Urology Crisis Center" where white coated religious fanatics tried to talk me out of it by making up stories of all the physical and mental trauma I would face going through with it.

- No one called me a horndog for wanting birth control.  I didn't have to watch pictures of my happy wriggling sperm before they did the deed.

- The biggest problem with the facility I went to for the procedure was finding a parking space.  I didn't have to worry it would be closed due to state or local government action.

- I did not have to worry my walk to the front door would subject me to harassment from people who would yell insults and false platitudes, and who would block my path, shower me with blood or stuffie sperm or even place an IED in the clinic if they had the chance.

- My doctor might be delayed with other work, but I wouldn't have to worry about him and his escort being shotgunned in the parking lot.

So, do both genders have problems?  Yes.  Are they anywhere the same sizes?  Oh, Hell no.


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 30th, 2014 12:24 pm (UTC)
Thanks. Consider yourself hugged.

You are awarded the coveted Ducklick icon.
Jan. 30th, 2014 04:14 pm (UTC)
Did you have your medical professional/s ask if your partner/spouse was aware of/had consented to the procedure you were requesting?

Did your medical professional/s request/demand/require a co-visit/appointment with your spouse/partner?

(Blessedly, neither has happened to me. But both have happened to multiple cisfemale folks of my acquaintance seeking some degree of reproductive limitation.)

Tangentially, the image of "happy wriggling sperm" is now one with which I shall be forever blessed. .... Thanks?
Jan. 30th, 2014 06:15 pm (UTC)
And on the other end of things, in the Too Much Sharing Department, my insurance company, which covers only me, and not my husband (who has his own), required a copy of our marriage license before they would approve me to start IVF. I provided it, and told both my doctor and my insurance company that I would do so but under protest. Neither cared, of course.

I wonder if his insurance company would have provided anything for me if we had tried to go through just his.
Jan. 30th, 2014 10:04 pm (UTC)
Jan. 30th, 2014 11:37 pm (UTC)
Ooh I knew there was a reason I liked you. Well, besides the blindingly obvious ones. :) Thank you for reaffirming that there are people who really get it -- and for articulating the ridiculous false equivalent not only with accuracy, but with (wriggling?) humor. I swear I started hearing Monty Python singing "Every Sperm is Sacred" while reading point 3.

Edited at 2014-01-30 11:39 pm (UTC)
Jan. 31st, 2014 02:22 am (UTC)
Well said, bb.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )